No, no one has died, thank God, but there is a divorce going on in the family—a completely unexpected occurrence, one that I never thought I would have to live through. It’s been hellish for all parties and particularly the supporting players, such as my husband and myself. We’ve actually gone through all of Kubler Ross’ stages of death—denial (this couldn’t be happening in our family); anger (why didn’t the children get help…why didn’t they reach out to us…why didn’t they give us a clue); bargaining (pleading with God and the parties involved to slow the process down at least); depression (tears every day and sleepless nights which surely came from helplessness, sadness, and fear for the); and finally acceptance.
We are almost at the acceptance stage but not yet. It comes down to the huge mountain still to come in regards to rearranging and redesigning the family from what it once looked like to what it will look like.
The dynamics are completely upside down. I remember in another divorce I was told that my then sister in law had nothing to say to me because she was divorcing the entire family. Having been her roommate in college and a good friend I couldn’t even attend a funeral to say goodbye. It was simply over. They say in many ways divorce is a living death and I suppose it is.
According to my Second Journey Itinerary, change was certainly thrust upon me, I had a crisis of feelings, and now I pause to see where it takes me.
In any case, I have mustered my strength to redesign the family and my own situation but I am writing this blog to ask all of you out there what you have done and would do if there had been a divorce in your family.